Back in April, I put together a post using 20 absolutely ridiculous spam comments intercepted by the QLP Blog’s spam filters. Everyone seemed to enjoy it.
So, I continued to save the most bizarre, nonsensical, and downright awkward spam comments in hopes of a future sequel. That day has finally come, ladies and gents!
Below, you’ll find a random assortment of strange comments, which were likely all composed by robots and/or content spinners. Each one was directly copied and pasted from our comments section in all of its weird glory, and my commentary is featured below each spam comment. A word of warning: A couple of these contain a misspelling of “rss” (as in, RSS feed) that ends up looking like profanity. Hopefully no one’s offended.
Happy reading (and laughing)!
The “toe nail on the mind,” huh? That sounds painful.
Settle down with the exclamation points, buddy. Leave some for the rest of us! And what house do you speak of? This isn’t Westeros.
If there’s anyone whose opinion I trust on intelligence levels, it’s you. And who knows, maybe Girl Gaga would even approve.
You’ll carry on watching? Um…
I think you need a new content spinning program. Or, maybe you should just stop leaving fake comments.
You mean I finally sparked your imagining hat? Well, golly, I finally made it!
Don’t worry, the restraining order is already pending.
This one speaks for itself. I honestly have no words.
You may want to consult a doctor about that, my friend.
I’ve read this one a dozen times, and I still don’t know what it was supposed to say.
Hooray! The claw on my head is finally off. This calls for a celebration!
I think you mean “RSS.” But wait, even that makes no sense…
I’m sorry you’re so afraid of data, my super cool buddy.
Did you mistake this site for a blacksmith’s blog? What are these “various sharp things” you speak of?
This message seems to be intended for someone else…anyone have David Bowie’s email?
Quick, someone get Suzi out of the roll! Let’s start a Kickstarter!
Ugh, not this again. What is it with you “people” and dropping iPads off of buildings?
QLP Blog: The Dreamland. In your face, Santa!
Is that a threat?
Again, I think you meant “RSS.” But this is way funnier.
Cool story, bro.
If I ever discover you nosing around my internet site — personally or otherwise — I’m gonna freak out.
Wait, what happened to Sally? What do John and Grace have to do with her? And who broke his tooth? I’m so confused.
That’s all, folks! If you enjoyed reading this post, then please do let me know which spam comment you enjoyed the most. (I swear, none of those sentences were supposed to include rhymes. Who am I? Dr. Seuss?)
Which spam comments made you laugh the hardest? Do you have any translation attempts? Have you ever stolen someone’s iPad to drop it off a building for the sake of YouTube views? Let me know below!