The 7 Most Horrifying Allstate Insurance Commercials
Here in Cubeville we have mixed views on the Allstate Insurance commercials starring Dennis Haysbert. Some think his voice is calm and reassuring, whereas I become agoraphobic every time he starts talking. Either way, the advertisements are not easily forgotten. In fact, thanks to some Allstate commercials that I saw years ago, I’m still afraid that every time I’m laughing and having a good time with my friends while driving through an intersection, I will be T-boned at any given moment.
I’ve compiled a list of the top 7 fear, phobia, and cold-sweat inducing advertisements. After watching some of these commercials, I feel as though I’ve developed a phobia for things that never even crossed my mind before, like burning my house down while deep frying a turkey or staged car accident scams.
Does this state of fear encourage me to get my hands on some Allstate Insurance? Are these scare-tactics, or marketing genius? You be the judge.
7. Slow Motion:
What Haysbert says: “Introducing the Safe Driver Bonus, with cash off your renewal bill every time you don’t have one of these.”
What I feel after watching this commercial: “Never again will I ever remove my hands from the steering wheel. 10 and 2. 10 and 2. 10 and 2.”
6. Trouble Never Takes a Holiday:
What Haysbert says: “Trouble never takes a holiday, neither should your insurance.”
What I feel after watching this commercial: “THE HOLIDAYS ARE A DEATH TRAP. 15 out of 2 million people burned their house down?! That is an alarming statistic! The holidays are cancelled! ABORT! ABORT!”
5. New Car Replacement:
What Haysbert says: “If your car is totaled in the first 3 years, you can get a brand new car.”
What I feel after watching this commercial: “Not only will you definitely crash your brand new car within the first 3 years, you will total it within MINUTES.”
4. Drive Down Scam:
What Haysbert says: “Fighting fraud helps keep your insurance affordable.”
What I feel after watching this commercial: “WHAT?! That’s a thing?! People do that?! Great. Now I’m afraid of something that I didn’t even know existed 30 seconds ago.”
3. Parent-Teen Driving Contract:
What Haysbert says: “Every year nearly 6,000 teenagers go out for a drive and never come back. Just talking to them can change that.”
What I feel after watching this commercial: “Hey teenagers, think you’re having a good time driving around with your friends? YOU WILL DIE.”
2. Friday Night:
What Haysbert says: “Most accidents happen on Fridays between 3 and 6 p.m., but with New Car Replacement … if your new car is totaled within the first 3 model years, you can get a new car.”
What I feel after watching this commercial: “Stay in on Fridays. Planning on going out with your friends? Don’t. Whatever you do, don’t even THINK about leaving the house between 3 and 6 p.m. on Friday.”
1. Protect Your World:
What Haysbert says: “You need more than just an insurance agent. You need an Allstate agent – someone who makes it their business to protect you.”
What I feel after watching this commercial: “WOW. No matter what I do, death and destruction is lurking right around the corner! At any second my entire house could go up in flames, I could get T-boned at an intersection, or have my identity stolen. NOWHERE IS SAFE.”
So there you have it – the 7 most terrifying Allstate Insurance Commercials. Whether you’re in favor or in fear of Haysbert, you can’t deny that these commercials are downright scary. If watching one advertisement was enough to give me an irrational fear for years, I can’t even imagine the impact that watching all 7 in a row will have on your state of paranoia. If Allstate’s marketing strategy worked, you may even be inspired to run out and purchase every form of Allstate Insurance that you can get your hands on.
What do you think? Does Haysbert’s voice soothe or scare you? Do you think these ads are effective? Are you as afraid to leave your house as I am?
Jenna has a much easier time writing about the media and pop culture than she does writing about herself. She enjoys the simple things in life, like puns and typography. She is an avid fan of pop-punk, Halo 3, Spider-Man and origami, with a slight Taco Bell obsession. Her spirit animal is either a bulldog or a panda bear. You can also connect with Jenna on Google+ and Twitter.