Everyone Needs to Calm the Hell Down: An Open Letter to the Internet
Dear fellow internet junkies,
Calm the hell down.
I know that there’s always something on the Internet to freak out about, but you’ve gone a little too far this time. I don’t know if there was just a lack of exciting or relevant news this month, but you seem to keep turning mountains into molehills.
Here are some things we need to stop ranting about:
Redbox raised their DVD rental price to $1.20. While many of you have acted reasonably about it, there’s still a scary bunch of you that find this price hike unacceptable.
Who would’ve thought that this face would inspire so much rage?
Oh no, a whole twenty cents!
Sure, it’s a 20% increase…but it’s twenty cents. You can find twenty cents in your couch cushions. Heck, you can find twenty cents on the ground on your way to the Redbox kiosk. Poor Redbox! Their Facebook wall is full of angry comments from people that just can’t seem to wrap their head around the idea that prices – gasp! – go up. This is just how things go. Three constants in life: death, taxes, and inflation.
Major props to whoever works Redbox’s Facebook page. You’ve been handling the ridiculous people tactfully. If your explanation of “increasing operating costs and the first price increase in eight years” isn’t enough to sooth the savage beasts, our entire society is about to end.
Klout gives everyone a number that’s pulled from their metrics. An arbitrary number, many would say. Klout released a new scoring model that tweaked the way they measure influence. Your Klout score may have went up, it may have stayed the same, but my guess is that yours went down. And then you freaked the hell out.
OMG MY KLOUT SCORE IS FIVE POINTS LOWER!!!
Yes, you freaked the hell out over an arbitrary number. Angry comments were spewed across the internet, multiple angry blog posts were written, and the hashtag #OccupyKlout exploded on Twitter. The poor Klout staff was put under attack and had to go put out fires that didn’t even need to exist.
You could argue that it was unfair because you spent so much time building your Klout, and then all of your hard work just went away. But the fact that you’re spending so much time living and dying by your score instead of focusing on the main point of Klout – rewarding those that network and share content – is sad.
This is just like how people get all upset when Google update their search function and expect Google to answer to their cries. Klout, like Google, is its own business; and they will make decisions based on what they think is right.
Mark Zuckerberg is not amused by your hatred.
At this writing, they haven’t made any changes since their addition of Timeline. But I’m sure that it’s only a matter of days/weeks before Mark Zuckerberg drops another redesign bomb on us. And what will happen? You will all freak out. Again.
I can’t say that I’ve been a fan of recent changes. In fact, I long for the simplicity of 2005 when there were only college students and our walls actually resembled, well, walls. But when things change, I wrinkle my nose and move on. I don’t moan and I don’t leave angry comments on the blog post. Considering that most of you are back to stalking your friends or playing Sims Social within the hour, I don’t see why you have to throw the Internet up for grabs first.
In conclusion, everyone please calm down. There are a lot of things wrong in this world, but the fact that you’re becoming completely unhinged because of twenty cents or ten Klout points is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.
Take a deep breath. Accept that the Internet changes.
Have you been freaking out about any of these? Anything else we need to calm down about? Are you one of those people who lost twenty points on Klout and now want to yell at me?