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Discovery Channel’s Shark Week is wrapping up. For a solid week Discovery has offered all things shark: trivia, true stories of shark attacks, documentaries, and all-around awesomeness. What could be better than that?

Sharks are nature’s killing machines. Your brand can be a killing machine, too (killing the competition, of course!), with promotional products. In honor of the greatest week of the year, I have compiled a list of 5 promotional products that could help you before, during, or after a shark encounter.

1. Seal Stress Reliever:  Many sharks prey on seals. You can use this adorable seal-shaped squeezie as a decoy if a shark is approaching. Just try not to make too many drastic movements in the process – the shark will be more attracted to you than your decoy.
2. Sunscreen:  Sharks are attracted to contrasting colors. So, the contrasting colors in an uneven tan will draw attention to you. You can avoid an uneven tan by applying sunscreen. Yep, the sharks are judging you.
3. Band-Aids:  You don’t want to get in the water if you’re bleeding. Once a shark gets one whiff of blood, it’s curtains. So if you scrape your foot on a sharp shell while playing in the sand, cover it up with an adhesive bandage before you hit the surf!
4. Goggles: It would be immensely helpful if you could see the shark before it starts making its way over for lunch. Luckily, goggles can help you do just that! The goggles pictured below are children’s goggles, but we also have goggles available for adults.
5. First-aid Kit: If you or someone you know gets attacked, you’re going to need more than just a Band-Aid. In fact, you’ll probably need more than a first-aid kit. But hey, it’s a start.

**NOTE: We do not actually recommend using the Seal Stress Reliever to distract a shark. Nor do we actually condone the use of promotional items in life-threatening situations. But it was a cute idea, right?

You can never be too careful when it comes to sharks, so here are some additional tips to prevent a shark attack:

• Don’t swim alone. Sharks are more likely to attack a lonely swimmer than a group.
• Don’t wear flashy jewelry. It looks like fish scales. Sharks eat fish. Do you want to get eaten? Didn’t think so.
• Don’t move too much. Erratic movements will attract a shark’s attention.
• Don’t swim when it is dark. Sharks can see in the dark and you can’t. You do the math.
• If a shark is gnawing on you, you can try to punch it in the nose or poke it in the eyes to throw off its senses and force it to release you. I know this is probably easier said than done, but it’s saved people before!

This year’s Shark Week may be coming to a close, but as 30 Rock’s Tracy Jordan says, “Live every week like it’s Shark Week.”

Which of these promotional products would you choose? What other advice to you have to avoid becoming shark bait? And most importantly, what is your favorite part about shark week?

Image credit to egarc2.

Article by Jenna Markowski

Jenna has a much easier time writing about the media and pop culture than she does writing about herself. She enjoys the simple things in life, like puns and typography. She is an avid fan of pop-punk, Halo 3, Spider-Man and origami, with a slight Taco Bell obsession. Her spirit animal is either a bulldog or a panda bear. You can also connect with Jenna on Google+ and Twitter.