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Tasteless Titanic Tributes: 5 Giveaways for Passengers’ Imaginary Gift Baskets

This weekend marks the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic, which claimed over 1,500 lives and inspired a movie that ruined an entire generation’s understanding of the word “romantic.” While there are no living Titanic survivors, the phrase “too soon” still comes to mind when you read about the Titanic Memorial Cruise.

I’m not making this up.

This cruise is currently taking passengers on a macabre reenactment of the Titanic’s voyage from its April 8th launch from Southampton to its planned arrival in New York City with a stop over the ship’s wreckage in the North Atlantic at 11:40 PM on April 14th – the moment the Titanic hit the iceberg – for a memorial service.

If all that isn’t weird enough, there are some reports that passengers plan to dress up as Jack and Rose.

Still not making this up.

Although it’s hard to believe people would want to tempt fate and indulge in this creeptastic recreation, the damn thing pretty much sold out. Apparently, the company behind the cruise, Miles Morgan Travel, is onto something. It turns out they’ve included a basket of promotional items for the passengers that quell any fears of a repeat tragedy.

(I did make that up.)

Floating Keychain

What’s the use of booking a first class ticket and getting into a lifeboat if the keys to your BMW are at the bottom of the North Atlantic? Available in several bright colors, you’re sure to see it floating among the drab wreckage. Suggested taglines include: I survived the largest peacetime maritime tragedy, and all I got was this awesome keychain. Losing your spare set – now THAT would be a tragedy!

Hand Warmers

Clinging to the side of a floating piece of wood? Waiting for the RMS Carpathia? Keep those frosty digits ready to wave for help! Using hand warmers when your entire body is submerged in 31 degree water… there’s got to be a metaphor for that.

Iceberg not included.Cruise Boat Stress Ball

Keep the kids entertained and stave off frostbite for a few extra hours with the squishy playfulness of the Cruise Boat Stress Reliever! The kids will be entertained, and you’ll have been able to hang onto at least one earthly possession. Iceberg sold separately.

All right, if the boat is still sinking in ten minutes, THEN I'll consider getting on the lifeboat.Water-Resistant Sports Watch

You can keep an eye on the time while you tread water with the Water-Resistant Silicone Sports Watch! Now in 10 different colors including Frostbite Black and Seasick Green!

Space for one necklace and a lifetime of regrets.Floating Container with Key Ring

If you’re going to give priceless jewelry to a cheating girlfriend, the customized floating container with key ring makes sure you can recover it after she flees with her new lover! Space for one necklace and a lifetime of regrets.

Until next time, keep expanding your brand!

What do you think of the Titanic Memorial Cruise? Is it a freaky tempting of fate or an honorable tribute to those who were lost in a horrible accident? Sound off in the comments below!

Image credit to Clipart.com and Quality Logo Products.


Jana Quinn

An old ‘G’ that’s been working for QLP since it was in Bret’s basement – Jana has been writing since she made up a story about a Jana-Tiger that liked rocky road ice cream and got straight A’s. She enjoys writing about marketing and pop culture, posting a ‘Die Hard’ article as often as she’s allowed. She is inspired by the articles at Cracked and frequently wears a Snuggie in the office. You can also connect with Jana on Google+.

Comments

  1. Amy Swanson

    This cruise just sounds weird!! I don’t like to tempt or mock fate, it just doesn’t sound smart to me. It’s all fine to visit the site where the accident happened, but it’s the dressing up and eating the same food that creeps me out. Nope, I couldn’t do it.

  2. Jenna Markowski

    They’ve already made a movie about this. There really is a film called “Titanic II”, and it tells the tale of a Titanic memorial cruise that is struck by some natural disaster and ends up meeting the same fate as the first ship. Why would anyone want to risk the chance of that becoming a reality?

    It all seems way to creepy to me. Not to mention making a mockery of the whole tragedy. They’re going to stop where the ship hit the iceberg for a memorial service, then continue right along on their merry way? Might as well say, “You guys all died here, bummer. We’re gonna make it all the way to NYC though, unlike YOU!”

    That being said, this was a great idea for a blog post! Your product descriptions cracked me up, so maybe I’m just as bad as the ones going on the cruise. But hey, at least I am well aware that the Titanic was real…unlike these people: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HDmx6UpEFQ0/T4WYEmL547I/AAAAAAAAIDc/vKI9c1mBaRA/s1600/titanic.jpg

    • Juliette

      The idea that there are folks who thought it was only a movie still weirds me out! One of my friends, when leaving the theater after opening night back in the 90’s happened to hear one such conversation between a couple of folks. The girl said (very clearly), “It’s scary to think that something like that could actually happen!”

  3. Juliette

    Okay, love the post and the ideas of the baskets!!! Now to answer your question:

    A little bit of both, perhaps? I’m sure that the folks that were able to get tickets for the memorial probably have a sense of both. I know I would though I’d lean more on the side of actual tribute than wanting to go just to tempt fate. There are certain historical events that fascinate me and this is one of them. (Also on my bucket list is to travel to London to take a Ripper tour in Whitechapel.)

    I do think that the dressing up as Jack and Rose is a little odd. (and it takes a lot for me to think something is odd.) I can see wearing period clothing but to go with actual costumes from the movie feels weird.

    In any case, I’ll be interested to read about folks thoughts on the memorial cruise once it’s over.

  4. Jen

    Oh Jana, this is just too funny! I love your picks, but this is barely the tip of the iceberg (pun intended) with these awesome promos. Two other appropriate favorites would be the Multi Color Beach Ball and The Porpoise Adult Swim Goggles with Case, because lets face it, you’re going to have to keep moving to avoid freezing and salt water in the eye really stings!

  5. Cybernetic SAM

    Wow… I understand if they did this exclusively for family members of the passengers who passed away. But to turn it into a novelty vacation and allow “comic-con” like Titanic fans to cosplay whilst cruising and dining over the very spot were over 1,000 people met their tragic end… Why do they not see what is wrong with that? Just like re-release in 3-D, now you can pretend like you are really there and see people dying up-close and personal!

    • Juliette

      I think it’s the dressing up part that gets me too.

      I once visited the Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor during a high school band trip and stood over the wreckage while tossing flowers into the water. I had no family there but the experience was definitely a solemn and memorable one. I hope that the majority of the folks on the Titanic memorial cruise will treat their experience the same way.

  6. Jaimie Smith

    Jana this was a hilarious post! I loved your reasson for all of your promo products.

    But I do have to admit that this whole Titanic thing really has me intrigued. I have always been really into the Titanic. I am obsessed with the movie. But even all of the facts and real footage behind it really has me fascinated too. Don’t get me wrong, it is a tragic, and my heart goes out to everyone who lost their lives that night.

    it is unfortunate that people had to lose their lives and then a movie is made from it, and people get really wrapped into it…but I feel like that happens with a lot of tragedies…look at the movie Pearl Harbor. Teribble thing that happened, but a GREAT movie was made about it. I don’t necessarly think it is a bad thing tho. It gives people a chance to kind of see what happened and put themselves in their shoes. I know made up stories and love connections were put into the movies, but if anything I feel like that helps because it is easier for people to relate and really connect to what is going on.

  7. Mandy Kilinskis

    Excellent choices, Jana!

    I would add the Whistle/Light Key Chain. If it wasn’t for that whistle, Rose would’ve never made it out of the water. And this one has a light for an even better chance of being rescued by Mr. Fantastic!

  8. Eric

    Edwardian, period-dress cosplay.

    Just when you thought you’d seen it all.

    I highly doubt they’ll wear their costumes all week, but one of the most memorable photos I’ve come across was a man in Heathrow (?) Airport, top hat and all…carrying his nylon duffle bag, what have you, with him.

    The cruise? If I had any direct relation to it, I’d stay the hell away from it. One time I had to fly out East to play Buddy Holly the same week as “The Day the Music Died.” As I sat waiting for take-off, horn-rims covering my tired eyes, I couldn’t help but think we shouldn’t chance the fates like that, and throw fate a slow pitch, right over the plate.

    All else fails, inflatable, bright-orange water wings. No shame in a little safety.

  9. Rachel

    I think the Floating Container is my favorite. Seriously, keep that jewelry somewhere safe!

    Thanks for these suggestions, Jana — this is a wonderfully amusing and, as you put it, tasteless list. :) Love it!

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