For those of you with better things to do who have not heard the wonderful news, Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger of Nickelback just announced that they have plans to tie the knot.
I mean, two semi-singer/songwriters with inexplicably popular music? It’s a match made in Canada.
And while everyone is breathlessly waiting for the official couple name (Krovigne?) and whether the bridesmaids will be required to wear skull earrings and pink highlights, I am far more interested in what wedding favors the dynamic duo will pass out to the friends and family not too embarrassed to attend the joyous event.
As the bride and groom both hail from the Great White North, there’s no product more fitting to celebrate their homeland. These stress relievers will look adorable imprinted with “Why’d You Have To Make Things So Chavril’cated?” And above all, the brave guests are going to need something squeeze when the newlyweds launch into their brilliant mashup.
Hey, hey, Chad, Chad, Avril doesn’t like your ex-girlfriends. And that’s why she’s going to specially order these desktop dartboards with pictures of the fallen flames who came before. The four included darts makes it great game for the guests to forget where they are. Extra bonus: attached cup holds pens, pencils, and broken hopes and dreams.
There isn’t a classier keychain out there. This key tag appropriately comes in nickel. It will be engraved with “Rockstar” to reflect the lifestyle that Chad fought tooth and nail to achieve. Use it to hold the key that opens your hilltop houses, fifteen cars, or the Playboy mansion.
In celebration of the Sk8er Gurl finding her Sk8er Boi, these bottle openers will be placed next to each and every plate. The absolute least that Chravil could do is make their reception open bar. Also, once the entire guest list kicks back specially-crafted My Happy Endings and If Everyone Careds, they’ll be super fun to play with.
And yes, every time I do it makes me laugh.
Were you surprised about Canada’s only latest power couple? Any other favors you think Chavril will have at their reception? And most importantly, where do you think they’ll tie the knot?