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If Cars Could Talk: Which of These 6 Vehicles Personifies Your Business?

Everyone is different. As a result of this, every business is different. There’s no right or wrong way to run a business and the same goes for cars. Everyone has their own unique vision of what a car should and shouldn’t be. So let’s get down to the fun stuff. Which car best represents YOUR business? See which one of these vehicles sounds the most like you and the mission of your company!

Toyota Camry: Moderate and Mature

Toyota Camry: Moderate and Mature

Toyota Camry: Moderate and Mature

Moderation is your word-of-the-day, every day. With such a mature vocabulary it’s no wonder you’re considered the grown up when compared to your peers and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You like to talk strictly business and nothing pleases you more than producing a quality product. Your no-frills approach to conducting business occassionally receives flak for being too vanilla at times, but the criticism doesn’t faze you one bit. They don’t know what they’re talking about, anyway! One second they’re criticizing you for being too conservative, the next second they’re comparing their products to yours. Seems like they can’t make up their minds, while you’ve had your mind set on providing your customers with a quality product since day one.

Hummer H2: Corporate Hulk

Hummer H2: Corporate Hulk

Hummer H2: Corporate Hulk

You’re the hulking corporate giant that we all love to hate. You’re not afraid to go where no other company has gone before, but you’re also not afraid to push aside anyone in your way. You gobble up resources like there’s no tomorrow, but insignificant things like that never weigh on your conscience. As long as you’re making cold, hard cash you’re a happy camper. People say you’re arrogant, but when they need a monumental task completed you’re always the one they turn to.

Toyota Prius: Hip and Green

Toyota Prius: Hip and Green

Toyota Prius: Hip and Green

You’re the hip new company that everyone is envious of, whether or not they are willing to admit it. You analyze every decision you make to the umpteenth degree. Every resource within your grasp is closely monitored and used to its fullest potential. Of course making money is your end goal, but the means of getting there are just as important. Your hopes are to leave behind the smallest carbon footprint possible which just about makes you the polar opposite of the “corporate giant” previously mentioned. Many like to tease you for your lack of power or your obsession with being eco-friendly, but you sleep well at night knowing that you’re doing the right thing.

Chevy Corvette: Supercharged Go-Getter

Chevy Corvette: Supercharged Go-Getter

Corvette ZR1: Supercharged Go-Getter

To quote Team America: World Police, “America, F*** yeah!” Your life isn’t complete until you show the whole world what good ol’ American elbow grease is capable of. You laugh at Italy with their million-dollar-plus supercars as you roar past them with your 6.2-supercharged liters of American awesomeness. Cranking out 638 horsepower is an everyday thing for you and living life at anywhere below 200 miles-per-hour sounds like a living hell. Not only do you compete with the fastest in the world, but you do it all while offering an “affordable” price tag of just over $100K (affordable is a relative term when talking supercars). Many say you need to focus your attention less on brute strength and more on efficiency, but where’s the fun in that?

Honda Civic: Savvy Dreamer

Honda Civic: Savvy Dreamer

Honda Civic: Savvy Dreamer

There’s no denying you’re a class act, but at the same time you’re having somewhat of an identity crisis at the moment. On one hand you want to be a grown up businessman just like the Camry, but on the other you can’t help but want to star in the next Fast and Furious movie while you’re still young. Throw a couple engine mods and a spoiler on that bad boy and now you’re cool enough to race against Vin Diesel! Everyone has that same dream, right? Alright, so maybe you still have some growing up to do, but you’re a solid performer year in and year out and no one can criticize that.

Ford Mustang: Legendary Powerhouse

Ford Mustang: Legendary Powerhouse

Mustang GT: Legendary Powerhouse

You’re the American legend. This isn’t to say you haven’t made your fair share of mistakes during your nearly 50 years of business, though (the bastard-child Mustang II comes to mind here). Thankfully, you’ve learned from these mistakes to deliver a better product. Some may say you’re past your prime or that you need to get with the times, but you know you’ve still got it. To taunt the naysayers even further, you give a nod to your rich history by bringing back the 5.0-liter V8 that made you the legend that you now are. You’re perfectly content cruising at your own steady pace, but by no means are you afraid of unleashing all 412 horses you’ve got strapped under your hood. Some call it unnecessary. You call it pure, unadulterated joy. One blip of the throttle is all that’s needed to hush all of the haters.

Well there it is. Obviously I haven’t touched upon every business model out there, but those are the most “extreme” ones. Of course most businesses will fall somewhere in-between these examples so which of these cars best applies to your business? Have I missed any no-brainers? As always, I’m looking forward to some grade-A comments!



Kyle Rossom

Kyle is a data entry specialist at QLP who also takes pleasure in contributing to the company’s daily blog. After a long day of work he likes to kick back and enjoy the finer things in life including Family Guy, Tosh.0, and other sophisticated television broadcasts. He is currently attending North Central College as a junior and takes pride in being fluent in 2 languages (English and sarcasm, for those interested). He is also an avid motocross fan who has loved riding since he was 7 years old. You can connect with Kyle on Google+.

Comments

  1. Jana Quinn

    I think I’m a Honda Civic. When I first read the headline, I was hoping for a Toyota Corolla option, but the Civic comes pretty close. It’s the whole “maturity” thing that crosses me off the list.

    I think a drawback to being a Civic is that you get by with your solid performance and never make that commitment to grow up. And I’m not just saying that because I have comic books and action figures in my office…

    • Kyle

      The Corolla crossed my mind when brainstorming this post, but with two Toyotas already on my list I figured I’d share the love with some other car companies.

      And I’m glad you mentioned your decorations. That’s a perfect example of what I meant with that analogy! I think we all have some Civic inside of us. :)

  2. Jill Tooley

    I’m a big fan of this post, Kyle! Way to charge my creative batteries.

    The Camry and the Civic sound like the most rational/practical choices, which leads me to believe that any hypothetical business of mine would fall somewhere in there. As for QLP, though, I think that we’re a combination of Honda Civic and Corvette ZR1. We’re knowledgeable and steady, but we have an ambitious streak that’s simply too legit to quit! ;)

    BP is the only company I think of after reading the Hummer H2 breakdown, by the way. Although, I don’t think too many people are turning to them for any solutions these days!

    Thanks for the advice!

    • Kyle

      I totally agree with your choices for QLP! We’re not afraid to be ourselves, but at the same time, like you mentioned, we want to go out there and show everyone what we’re capable of.

      Not to mention, relating your company to a 638 horsepower supercar just makes you feel badass! :P

  3. Amanda Sneed

    This is such a cool blog post Kyle! Well done! =)

    I think I’m somewhere in between the Camry and the Corvette. We generally buy things that are made in America, are of high quality, but no super high price tags, are fun and dependable.

    And when it comes to cars, I’ve always been a fan of the V6 American cars…..you get more power, some luxury, with a moderate price tag and pretty good gas mileage. I’d much rather pay a few more bucks for a tank of gas than drive a car that is super small and no fun to drive!

  4. Kyle

    Thanks for the support! And yeah I agree with you on the power/efficiency tradeoff. Although now with gas prices going through the roof I’m starting to wonder whether or not I should attempt to change my preferences. :(

  5. Bret Bonnet

    A++ Post Kyle!

    Seriously. I hope you get college credit for this post! :)

    I like your Hummer H2 reference the best. I hope ANY business in this category has the same fate as this iconic car model – a big fat DISCONTINUED stamp.

    If I had a pick a car that I think best represents QLP – I’d say it would be a Tonka truck. Why? Because we’re just cool like that. :)

    • Kyle

      Thanks for the words of encouragement, Bret! Sadly I’m not getting any college credit for this, but it was a fun little post regardless.

      And I can’t believe I forgot to describe a Tonka truck. How could I forget such an iconic vehicle? Haha

  6. Jennifer Woodard

    Kyle,

    I think that I lean towards being a Toyota Prius. I think that my family would agree since I place such little value in material things. My kids just don’t understand why I never want the latest, biggest or most expensive things out there and they want them all.

    I switched my business model to working with small businesses who want to do their own marketing and pr, mainly because it is cheaper for them. I make less money since I only do planning now and not implementation, but it is much less stress and I sleep better. Just have less money and its alright with me.

    Great post,
    Happy blogging,
    Jenn

    • Jill Tooley

      Thank you for your comment, Jenn! Being a Prius is a noble thing, in my opinion. You’re one of the few who focuses less on material things and more on the big picture. If given the choice between high pay and high stress or lower pay and less stress, I’d always pick the latter! I admire your dedication.

      I’m sure Kyle will add his two cents when he returns to the office, but I wanted to pop in and say thanks in the meantime. :)

    • Kyle

      Thank you for the comment, Jennifer!

      There are a lot of good things to be said about being comparable to a Prius. I think it’s great that you’re working with small businesses to help them out with their goals. Sometimes it’s worth taking a slight pay cut in return for that warm fuzzy feeling inside from helping others out. Less stress definitely doesn’t hurt either. ;)

      Once again, thanks for reading and commenting!

  7. Renee

    On the face of it, it seems silly to ascribe a personality to an inanimate object. However, I think you are on point with all of the vehicles….maybe we have been indoctrinated to make judgments about people who would own them and why, but those images are indelible. I think it’s incredible that you used them to describe specific business models. Genius!

    • Jill Tooley

      You’re going to make Kyle blush when he returns to work! ;) Thanks for commenting and I hope to see you back again soon!

    • Kyle

      Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, Renee!

      Genius you say? I think that might be a slight overstatement, but I definitely appreciate the kind words! =)

      I agree that it is somewhat silly to describe inanimate objects as if they were a living thing, but I believe cars truly do have their own personalities under all of those layers of metal and plastic. Not to mention it’s fun making abstract comparisons like this!

  8. Catarina Alexon

    None of them. Bentley and Aston Martin are missing:-)

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