Everyone is different. As a result of this, every business is different. There’s no right or wrong way to run a business and the same goes for cars. Everyone has their own unique vision of what a car should and shouldn’t be. So let’s get down to the fun stuff. Which car best represents YOUR business? See which one of these vehicles sounds the most like you and the mission of your company!
Toyota Camry: Moderate and Mature
Moderation is your word-of-the-day, every day. With such a mature vocabulary it’s no wonder you’re considered the grown up when compared to your peers and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You like to talk strictly business and nothing pleases you more than producing a quality product. Your no-frills approach to conducting business occassionally receives flak for being too vanilla at times, but the criticism doesn’t faze you one bit. They don’t know what they’re talking about, anyway! One second they’re criticizing you for being too conservative, the next second they’re comparing their products to yours. Seems like they can’t make up their minds, while you’ve had your mind set on providing your customers with a quality product since day one.
Hummer H2: Corporate Hulk
You’re the hulking corporate giant that we all love to hate. You’re not afraid to go where no other company has gone before, but you’re also not afraid to push aside anyone in your way. You gobble up resources like there’s no tomorrow, but insignificant things like that never weigh on your conscience. As long as you’re making cold, hard cash you’re a happy camper. People say you’re arrogant, but when they need a monumental task completed you’re always the one they turn to.
Toyota Prius: Hip and Green
You’re the hip new company that everyone is envious of, whether or not they are willing to admit it. You analyze every decision you make to the umpteenth degree. Every resource within your grasp is closely monitored and used to its fullest potential. Of course making money is your end goal, but the means of getting there are just as important. Your hopes are to leave behind the smallest carbon footprint possible which just about makes you the polar opposite of the “corporate giant” previously mentioned. Many like to tease you for your lack of power or your obsession with being eco-friendly, but you sleep well at night knowing that you’re doing the right thing.
Corvette ZR1: Supercharged Go-Getter
To quote Team America: World Police, “America, F*** yeah!” Your life isn’t complete until you show the whole world what good ol’ American elbow grease is capable of. You laugh at Italy with their million-dollar-plus supercars as you roar past them with your 6.2-supercharged liters of American awesomeness. Cranking out 638 horsepower is an everyday thing for you and living life at anywhere below 200 miles-per-hour sounds like a living hell. Not only do you compete with the fastest in the world, but you do it all while offering an “affordable” price tag of just over $100K (affordable is a relative term when talking supercars). Many say you need to focus your attention less on brute strength and more on efficiency, but where’s the fun in that?
Honda Civic: Savvy Dreamer
There’s no denying you’re a class act, but at the same time you’re having somewhat of an identity crisis at the moment. On one hand you want to be a grown up businessman just like the Camry, but on the other you can’t help but want to star in the next Fast and Furious movie while you’re still young. Throw a couple engine mods and a spoiler on that bad boy and now you’re cool enough to race against Vin Diesel! Everyone has that same dream, right? Alright, so maybe you still have some growing up to do, but you’re a solid performer year in and year out and no one can criticize that.
Mustang GT: Legendary Powerhouse
You’re the American legend. This isn’t to say you haven’t made your fair share of mistakes during your nearly 50 years of business, though (the bastard-child Mustang II comes to mind here). Thankfully, you’ve learned from these mistakes to deliver a better product. Some may say you’re past your prime or that you need to get with the times, but you know you’ve still got it. To taunt the naysayers even further, you give a nod to your rich history by bringing back the 5.0-liter V8 that made you the legend that you now are. You’re perfectly content cruising at your own steady pace, but by no means are you afraid of unleashing all 412 horses you’ve got strapped under your hood. Some call it unnecessary. You call it pure, unadulterated joy. One blip of the throttle is all that’s needed to hush all of the haters.
Well there it is. Obviously I haven’t touched upon every business model out there, but those are the most “extreme” ones. Of course most businesses will fall somewhere in-between these examples so which of these cars best applies to your business? Have I missed any no-brainers? As always, I’m looking forward to some grade-A comments!