Workaholics: Blake, Adam, and Ders Teach What NOT to Do at Work
With a title like Workaholics, you might expect this show on Comedy Central to be about three strapping young gentlemen getting down to business at the office. However, more often than not this is not the case. The stars of the show, Blake, Adam, and Anders (nicknamed “Ders”), are typically partying, slacking off, and generally involved in some sort of shenanigans.
While the show is hilarious, it doesn’t necessarily provide any helpful insights on how to get by working 9-5 in the real world (successfully). However, there’s a lot we can learn from these dudes’ mistakes.
The boys get in the Half Christmas spirit.
Don’t create distractions for everyone else. In the episode that founded the yearly tradition of Half Christmas for Workaholics fans, the boys cause all sorts of chaos in their attempts to celebrate their own tradition of Half Christmas. When their boss refuses to give them the day off, they decide to decorate their cubicle to bring the Half Christmas spirit to the office. However, they later get in trouble because their blinking lights and the motorized train set that runs around the top of their cubicle prove to be very distracting for everyone else.
Don’t be “that guy.” If you’re going to listen to music, put on headphones. Try to respect the people working around you by maintaining a somewhat-quiet atmosphere.
Don’t pull office pranks. The guys and the affectionately named, Homegirl, have an on-going battle for the Main Office Prankster title. However, what started out as innocent fun turns ugly when the guys pull a series of pranks on what they think is a sleeping Homegirl, only to find out that she was dead while they were drawing on her face, covering her with various food items, etc.
Hopefully none of your office pranks would take this dark of a turn, but you’re better safe than sorry. It’s safe to assume that if an office prank can backfire, it will. And it’s probably best not to risk it.
Ders shows up late for work with a bike lock around his neck.
Don’t throw your friends under the bus. When the guys are up for a promotion the competition gets pretty heated. And by that I mean while Ders steps up his game and works hard to earn the position, Adam attempts to pull multiple pranks and lies to their boss, Alice, to keep Anders from getting the position. This leads to Ders moving out, the guys then bombing their interviews to recommend Ders for the job, Ders revealing he was never moving out, and then the guys getting him hammered so he’s late for his first day of work in the new position. Ultimately, Ders gets demoted and none of the guys end up with the new position.
Basically, take whatever Adam says, and do the opposite. For example, “So … Ders is doing actual work, huh? That is cheating, dude! Right?” Wrong. Rather than screwing over your other co-workers with pranks and tattling, you should work hard to earn that upcoming promotion.
BONUS TIP! This should be common sense, but it’s worth noting: It’s not recommended to sneak into the office at night and consume copious amounts of illegal substances. In addition, you probably shouldn’t: run over the CEO of your company with your car, hit on your boss, destroy everything in your cubicle, attach a mini-bottle of booze to your headset, drool over the new temp, have a raging party the night before work…the list goes on.
By some miracle, Blake, Adam, and Anders have managed to maintain their jobs throughout all of the chaos. How that’s even possible is beyond me. But they must be doing something right. Maybe they’re killer salesmen?
Let’s get weird! What do you think? What other tips can we pull from Workaholics? Sound off in the comments below!