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Zombie Defense 101: 4 Valuable Giveaways to Have On-Hand

Recent reports of strange circumstantial zombie-like activity have added fuel to the zombie apocalypse theories over the past few weeks. As a result, you might be asking yourself…

“Should I prepare myself for the impending zombie apocalypse?”

The answer is yes. You can never be too careful!

So, if you want some hot swag to help you get through this soon-to-be zombie Armageddon (and want people to remember you helped), then I’ve got some sweet tips and items that should teach those zombies a thing or two about what companies they shouldn’t mess with. Whether you are getting married and you’ll be darned if zombies are going to ruin it, or you want to be that company that tells people, “We’ll have your back when you’ve got zombie problems,” this post is your best bet.

We want to make sure you have all the options you need to help fight the zombies. So without further ado (since time is of the essence), here are some promo items that just may save the day.

Jar of Engraved Knives#1: First off, how about gearing up for Zomb-pocolypse with a handy Jar of Knives. You can’t have too many knives in a time such as this, and as a bonus, you never have to reload a knife. Not to mention, what says you’re bad to the bone more than having your logo on a freakin’ JAR OF KNIVES!?

Tip: If you don’t have a long reach, then just throw them.

Executive Putter Set#2: If knives aren’t your cup of tea and you want to come off as less aggressive, then why not use a handy Golf Putter Set? Plus, when you aren’t saving yourself from zombies and need some R&R, try hitting 18 holes in your spare time! This is a great item with multiple purposes.

Tip: Always remember to double tap!

Jerzees Pullover Sweatshirt#3: Now that you’re prepared for confrontations, you may be a tad concerned about your armor situation. Well try this on for size: a thick, comfortable personalized hoodie can serve as armor just as well. Remember, although it’s preferable, zombie defense armor doesn’t have to be metal.

Tip: If you can’t bite through it in one fell swoop, then neither can they.

AM/FM Radio Fanny Pack#4: You’ll also need the option to make contact and find a signal from other survivors. Not to mention, where are you going to keep all your other zombie defense swag? Make sure you supply your friends, company, or customers with the item that just may save you and everyone else you love… The AM/FM Radio and Fanny Pack! This way, you can run, fight, and try and find a working radio frequency all at the same time without sacrificing the use of your hands. No one will ever laugh at a fanny pack again — mission accomplished.

Tip: Be ready to move! If they know where you are, they will find you, so keep moving and keep your gear in this trendy pack.

Well, folks, I certainly hope I taught you a thing or two. And now I guess it is up to you to be smart, get the appropriate promotional items, and give them out so we can all survive together. Surely people will remember who helped them, and they’ll be grateful that your business is the one that did.

What are your zombie apocalypse promo items? Any more tips you think would help in a zombie attack?

Disclaimer: We do not advocate the use of promotional products for violence. This blog post is intended for humor only.

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Image credit to Scott Beale / Laughing Squid and QualityLogoProducts.com.


Serenity Morris

Serenity is on the support staff for Quality Logo Products. Cynical and straight to the point, this no-nonsense gal is loveable and passionate about her various nerdy interests. When she is not geeking out about music, British television, and politics she is usually doodling her troubles away! Her artistic abilities are often commissioned for internal and external QLP promotional materials. You can also connect with Serenity on Google+.

Comments

  1. Alex Brodsky

    The jar of knives is really a double threat! Cause once you’ve used all the knives, you can just start zombie-bashing with the jar!

    • Cybernetic SAM

      NICE! Good call! It really is by far the best product we have on our site!

  2. Jen

    I like the idea of using the thick comfy sweatshirt as zombie armor! What a great idea Sam, it’s just one more layer of defense to protect you against being bitten and ultimately infected. Super fun post, awesome job!

    • Cybernetic SAM

      Thanks Jen! Yeah, I just think it is neat you can protect yourself from Zombies and look trendy all at the same time!

  3. Eric

    “You never have to reload a knife.” Way too funny.

    Can’t ever go wrong with a product whose quantities include “jar!”

    Funny stuff, Sam!

    • Cybernetic SAM

      Thanks! Yeah one of the best books I ever read was the Zombie Survival Guide! It is hilarious!

  4. Mandy Kilinskis

    I’m definitely all about that hoodie. I have a very real fear that in an actual zombie apocalypse, I’d be one of the first to go, so if anything can deter (or prevent) that from happening, I’m a big fan. I definitely wouldn’t hesitate to start chucking knives, though, either!

    • Cybernetic SAM

      I think we should have a QLP knife throwing contest, in fun and in preparation. If I have to throw all those awesome knives, I want to be accurate. No one should ever have to see a knife jar empty.

  5. Rachel

    Haha, I love the golf putter idea. And who doesn’t love the AM/FM fanny pack! Fun post, Sam — let’s just hope we never have to actually use any of these suggestions … ;)

    • Cybernetic SAM

      Thanks Rachel! I know what you mean! But just in case just refer back to the blog I wrote and the one Jill wrote you should be good to go!

  6. Amy Swanson

    Hahaha, this was such a funny post, Sam! Loved it!! With all the recent news out there about zombies (not that I’ve actually made it past the headlines to read), you can never be too prepared ;)

    • Cybernetic SAM

      Thanks Amy! It is probably good you don’t read the whole article. I have a morbid curiosity for weird things like that, (and I know I shouldn’t read it) now look at how paranoid am it inspired a blog post!

  7. Jana Quinn

    My vote goes to a golf club. It seems to be the most likely item here to destroy the brain (essential for zombie killing) and doesn’t make noise to attract other zombies. You never need to stop to reload it, and you won’t run low on ammunition. Good idea with the AM/FM Fanny Pack Radio; the hipsters will definitely survive.

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