Recent reports of strange circumstantial zombie-like activity have added fuel to the zombie apocalypse theories over the past few weeks. As a result, you might be asking yourself…
“Should I prepare myself for the impending zombie apocalypse?”
The answer is yes. You can never be too careful!
So, if you want some hot swag to help you get through this soon-to-be zombie Armageddon (and want people to remember you helped), then I’ve got some sweet tips and items that should teach those zombies a thing or two about what companies they shouldn’t mess with. Whether you are getting married and you’ll be darned if zombies are going to ruin it, or you want to be that company that tells people, “We’ll have your back when you’ve got zombie problems,” this post is your best bet.
We want to make sure you have all the options you need to help fight the zombies. So without further ado (since time is of the essence), here are some promo items that just may save the day.
#1: First off, how about gearing up for Zomb-pocolypse with a handy Jar of Knives. You can’t have too many knives in a time such as this, and as a bonus, you never have to reload a knife. Not to mention, what says you’re bad to the bone more than having your logo on a freakin’ JAR OF KNIVES!?
Tip: If you don’t have a long reach, then just throw them.
#2: If knives aren’t your cup of tea and you want to come off as less aggressive, then why not use a handy Golf Putter Set? Plus, when you aren’t saving yourself from zombies and need some R&R, try hitting 18 holes in your spare time! This is a great item with multiple purposes.
Tip: Always remember to double tap!
#3: Now that you’re prepared for confrontations, you may be a tad concerned about your armor situation. Well try this on for size: a thick, comfortable personalized hoodie can serve as armor just as well. Remember, although it’s preferable, zombie defense armor doesn’t have to be metal.
Tip: If you can’t bite through it in one fell swoop, then neither can they.
#4: You’ll also need the option to make contact and find a signal from other survivors. Not to mention, where are you going to keep all your other zombie defense swag? Make sure you supply your friends, company, or customers with the item that just may save you and everyone else you love… The AM/FM Radio and Fanny Pack! This way, you can run, fight, and try and find a working radio frequency all at the same time without sacrificing the use of your hands. No one will ever laugh at a fanny pack again — mission accomplished.
Tip: Be ready to move! If they know where you are, they will find you, so keep moving and keep your gear in this trendy pack.
Well, folks, I certainly hope I taught you a thing or two. And now I guess it is up to you to be smart, get the appropriate promotional items, and give them out so we can all survive together. Surely people will remember who helped them, and they’ll be grateful that your business is the one that did.
What are your zombie apocalypse promo items? Any more tips you think would help in a zombie attack?
Disclaimer: We do not advocate the use of promotional products for violence. This blog post is intended for humor only.