Back in April, I put together a post using 20 absolutely ridiculous spam comments intercepted by the Quality Logo Product Blog’s spam filters. Everyone seemed to enjoy it.

So, I continued to save the most bizarre, nonsensical, and downright awkward spam comments in hopes of a future sequel. That day has finally come, ladies and gents!

Below, you’ll find a random assortment of strange comments, which were likely all composed by robots and/or content spinners. Each one was directly copied and pasted from our comments section in all of its weird glory, and my commentary is featured below each spam comment. A word of warning: A couple of these contain a misspelling of “rss” (as in, RSS feed) that ends up looking like profanity. Hopefully no one’s offended.

Happy reading (and laughing)!

1.

Spam Comment 1

The “toe nail on the mind,” huh? That sounds painful.

2.

Spam Comment 2

Settle down with the exclamation points, buddy. Leave some for the rest of us! And what house do you speak of? This isn’t Westeros.

3.

Spam Comment 3

If there’s anyone whose opinion I trust on intelligence levels, it’s you. And who knows, maybe Girl Gaga would even approve.

4.

Spam Comment 4

You’ll carry on watching? Um…

5.

Spam Comment 5

I think you need a new content spinning program. Or, maybe you should just stop leaving fake comments.

6.

Spam Comment 6

You mean I finally sparked your imagining hat? Well, golly, I finally made it!

7.

Spam Comment 7

Don’t worry, the restraining order is already pending.

8.

Spam Comment 8

This one speaks for itself. I honestly have no words.

9.

Spam Comment 9

You may want to consult a doctor about that, my friend.

10.

Spam Comment 10

I’ve read this one a dozen times, and I still don’t know what it was supposed to say.

11.

Spam Comment 11

Hooray! The claw on my head is finally off. This calls for a celebration!

12.

Spam Comment 12

I think you mean “RSS.” But wait, even that makes no sense…

13.

Spam Comment 13

I’m sorry you’re so afraid of data, my super cool buddy.

14.

Spam Comment 14

Did you mistake this site for a blacksmith’s blog? What are these “various sharp things” you speak of?

15.

Spam Comment 15

This message seems to be intended for someone else…anyone have David Bowie’s email?

16.

Spam Comment 16

Quick, someone get Suzi out of the roll! Let’s start a Kickstarter!

17.

Spam Comment 17

Ugh, not this again. What is it with you “people” and dropping iPads off of buildings?

18.

Spam Comment 18

QLP Blog: The Dreamland. In your face, Santa!

19.

Spam Comment 19

Is that a threat?

20.

Spam Comment 20

Again, I think you meant “RSS.” But this is way funnier.

21.

Spam Comment 21

Cool story, bro.

22.

Spam Comment 22

If I ever discover you nosing around my internet site — personally or otherwise — I’m gonna freak out.

23.

Spam Comment 23

Wait, what happened to Sally? What do John and Grace have to do with her? And who broke his tooth? I’m so confused.

That’s all, folks! If you enjoyed reading this post, then please do let me know which spam comment you enjoyed the most. (I swear, none of those sentences were supposed to include rhymes. Who am I? Dr. Seuss?)

Image credit to Thomas Hawk.

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