3 Reasons Coupons are Better Than Sex

Getting a coupon is better than getting laid, according to a study released by Dr. Paul J. Zak, a neuroeconomics* professor at Claremont Graduate University.

This is science, people.**

Here’s how getting a percentage off is better than just getting off:

I would love to go home with you, but I just got $3 off an oil change, so I really love my wife.

I would love to go home with you, but I just got $3 off an oil change, so I really love my wife.

Getting a coupon raises oxytocin levels higher than getting lucky.

Higher levels of oxytocin (a hormone released when kissing and cuddling) are known to increase trust between people, encourage monogamy, and bring families closer together. Dipping into discounts does this better than doing the deed. We can reduce the divorce rate and keep families together if only we get more coupons out there! Think of the children!

If only I had stopped at Kohl's to use my 20% off coupon instead of having a one night stand with my ex!

If only I had stopped at Kohl’s to use my 20% off coupon instead of having a one night stand with my ex!

BOGO saves money while bonking is costly.

Coupons save money. They don’t cost you anything to acquire, and they keep hand-earned dollars in your pocket when you do make a purchase. Sex, on the other hand, can be very costly. Safe sex includes the use of prophylactics such as birth control or condoms; unprotected nookie may result in an expensive STD treatment or a pregnancy – it costs at least $3,000 to give birth in the US if everything goes perfectly. Forget about asking if the delivery room doctor accepts your insurance – find out if they take coupons!

4.) Coupons never have a headache.

4.) Coupons never have a headache.

Good deals decrease stress while getting busy ramps it up.

Based on the study, snagging a discount also reduces stress as measured by heart and breathing rates and sweaty palms. All of those things are elevated when hitting a home run. Considering stress is a leading cause of long-term sick leave, drug abuse for recovering addicts, and high blood pressure, it appears that coupons don’t just save you money; they may very well save your life.

Making Coupons Sexy

Science may tell us that coupons trump the disappearing cane trick, but it’s a hard sell (no pun intended) to the world at large. How can you make coupons sexy?

It should read: "USE THIS COUPON."

It should read: “USE THIS COUPON.”

Add an expiration date to create urgency.

What happens to the coupon that can be used forever? It will be used never. The coupon that’s expiring next week is put into a wallet or purse for immediate use. While it may seem counter-intuitive to limit the redemption for the potential consumer, it keeps the purchase an urgent priority.

If your logo is well-designed, your coupons may even become collectible art pieces.

If your logo is well-designed, your coupons may even become collectible art pieces.

Use images to keep interest.

Even if the coupon is never used, the brand impressions gained from a full color logo means you won’t be wasting money on a text-heavy slip of paper that gets tossed. Your logo should be accompanied by a picture of the product or service being offered; images offer a quick dose of desire if text gets skipped over. This is the most potent way to sell the benefit of using the coupon; you’re helping the customer imagine what it would be like to own the product or participate in the service. A squeaky clean car interior does a lot more than a description of detailing services.

CGI puppies are always a good choice.

CGI puppies are always a good choice.

Provide a giveaway with the coupon.

The fundamental social law of reciprocity states that those who receive gifts feel obligated to return the favor somehow. In case the coupon itself isn’t enough to make potential customers lust after your brand, adding a giveaway such as a custom pen or personalized magnet may boost the incentive for redemption. Giveaways themselves can even be customized to be “permanent” coupons. Every time a customer shows off his or her personalized key chain with your company logo, you can knock 5% off their bill.

How do you feel about coupons? Do they get you all hot and bothered, or are they more trouble than they’re worth? How do you make sure your coupons have a high redemption rate? Sound off in the comments below!

Until next time, keep expanding your brand!

*This is, apparently, a thing.

**Still no cure for cancer.

Expand Your Brand!


Jana Quinn

An old ‘G’ that’s been working for QLP since it was in Bret’s basement – Jana has been writing since she made up a story about a Jana-Tiger that liked rocky road ice cream and got straight A’s. She enjoys writing about marketing and pop culture, posting a ‘Die Hard’ article as often as she’s allowed. She is inspired by the articles at Cracked and frequently wears a Snuggie in the office. You can also connect with Jana on Google+.


  1. Jay

    Coupons also don’t have feelings, which, despite all of the wonderful insight you have provided us with, is the biggest plus in my book.

  2. Scooby

    Jay, if you stop reading all those Danielle Steele novels, you’ll see that not all have feelings. Get off of Steele and hop onto E. L. James.

    I hate couponing, they always expire faster than, well.

  3. Jay

    I would prefer if you kept my personal business (along with Doc), out of this.

    I’m not sure who Danielle Steele and E.L. James are, as I’m not married yet and completely bored with my sex life.

  4. Dan

    Using a coupon toward an item already on sale is worth the clipping.

  5. Kat

    Where in the world was the coupon clipper when I was going through my divorce?! Dang it, I knew there had to have been a reason we didn’t last.

Leave a Comment

Copyright 2003 - 2016 Quality Logo Products, Inc., Registration No. TX7-524-201. All Rights Reserved.