Bloody Good Promotional Products: Personalized Gifts to Help Fight Vampires

Vampires are the new hotness. With TV shows like The Vampire Diaries and True Blood and books like the Twilight series, there’s just something about the blood-sucking undead that’s really getting customers’ blood pumping. And although the Twilight books are drivel (I’ll fight you in the comments; bring it on), they still appeal to that highly prized female demographic.

While vampire-inspired books and shows are doing extraordinarily well, no one actually wants to get into a tangle with a vampire. Although the Twilight vampires can be distracted by a clumsy 16-year-old with poor self-esteem, it takes a little bit more than that to get out of a situation with a real vampire.

Quality Logo Products is pleased to put together the only Vampire Defense Kit officially endorsed by a promotional products company. Probably.

See No Evil: Rectangle Mirror (digitally printed)

The personalized rectangle mirror may not offer much in the way of actual defense, but it can help you identify vampires. By simply doing that pretend-to-check-your-make-up-but-really-looking-over-your-shoulder maneuver, you can see if the pale well-dressed gentleman at the table behind you has a reflection. No reflection = confirmed vampire. Men might have a little harder time pulling this one off, but that’s where the digital printing comes in handy. With full color processing that allows you to create a photorealistic image right on the cover, you can get your company’s logo (or vampire spotting tips or whatever you’d like) out to the public in a bold way. Or at least that’ll be the way you strike up a conversation with the maybe-vampire; quickly flip open the lid on the personalized rectangle mirror to confirm your worst fears.

Smell No Evil: Garlic Stress Reliever

No, the custom garlic stress reliever doesn’t actually have the magical properties of vampire repellent that the real thing does, but it’ll do if you need to buy some time. The soft, squeezable stress reliever will calm you down while you try to think of a way out of the catacombs. Just don’t let the vampire see that you’re squeezing it, or he’ll be tipped off right away to your bluff. Since the personalized garlic stress reliever allows you a pretty generous imprint area, you could even distract the bloodsucker with your company logo while you reach around in your bag for a wooden stake. Buffy would approve.

Stake No Evil: Natural Wood Pencil

I don’t know about you, but I don’t really think I can fit a set of wooden stakes into my purse. Plus, there’s all the hassle of pulling them out and by time they’re in your hand, you’re probably already toast. You know what you could walk around and look natural holding? The customized natural wood pencil! Sure it’s a custom pencil, which is a promotional product with a high retention rate that’s hugely popular among students (It has #2 lead as well!), but it can also destroy Dracula. If you suspect that there’s going to be a large scale uprising of the undead in your area, feel free to distribute the customized natural wood pencils in your community. At under a quarter each, you can afford to arm your fellow citizens.

So those are the primary items I would recommend for a vampire fighting kit. What do you think would work? How might you incorporate things like salt, holy water, and crosses? Are there other weapons/promotional products that would be good in the fight against vampires? Sound off in the comments below!

Until next time, keep expanding your brand!


Jana Quinn

An old ‘G’ that’s been working for QLP since it was in Bret’s basement – Jana has been writing since she made up a story about a Jana-Tiger that liked rocky road ice cream and got straight A’s. She enjoys writing about marketing and pop culture, posting a ‘Die Hard’ article as often as she’s allowed. She is inspired by the articles at Cracked and frequently wears a Snuggie in the office. You can also connect with Jana on Google+.


  1. Juliette

    I’d suggest keeping a promo water gun or spray bottle filled with holy water nearby as well. Both give you the advantage of being able to attack (or defend) at a greater distance. 🙂

  2. Barb Miller

    You of course need a bag to put all of it in for easy toting…I know where you can get some fabulous bags that would be HORRIBLY appropriate!!

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