Prison Break: 4 Giveaway Items on Michael Scofield’s Wish List

My past few weekends have been dominated by my latest Netflix streaming binge: Prison Break. When it was still on TV I dismissed it as campy, implausible, and just overall ridiculous. After watching half of the series (so far) based on some friendly recommendations, I can confirm that it is indeed all those things. But it is also AWESOME! I love the driving storylines, overly-clichéd characters, and repeated double crossing and back-stabbing. But most of all I love the elaborate schemes. They’re mostly at the behest of the main protagonist Michael Scofield – whose TV brother even said “doesn’t even [go to the bathroom] without a plan.” I’m a sucker for a show that makes you think, even if it is wrapped in absurdity.

But a good plan is only half the battle. If you wanted to try your own prison break, you’re not getting very far without the right tools for the job:

Cyber Mirror – First, you’re going to need a good mirror. Guards typically don’t alert prisoners before they round the corner, so it’s best to have your celly (cell mate) use a mirror to look down the hallways for you while you do whatever tomfoolery is needed to make your plan happen. This one even has a pivoting back so your celly can be even more on top of those pesky guards!

Multi-Tool Flashlight – If you want to be ready for whatever obstacles come your way, look no further than this multi-tool. It’s got everything you need – from a file to work on those bars to a screwdriver to chip away at the cell walls. Plus it has enough bulk to conk guards over the head with on your way out! I guess they’ll grip stuff too, but that’ll just slow you down…

Jump Rope – What are you going to do when you get over the wall? Jump for it? Those things are 15-20 feet high! There’s nothing like breaking an ankle three feet and ten seconds into your new found freedom. Try using a readily available jump rope to repel your way down the wall. Plus, in a pinch, you can use it to look like a completely normal person jumping rope in the middle of a field. No one will suspect a thing.

Backpack First-Aid Kit – Let’s be honest here. If you’re not on TV and if you don’t have writers that make sure everything works out for you, this is all probably going to go horribly, horribly wrong. Plus, the angry people chasing you probably won’t have much pity for you and your wounds. So be sure to take along a backpack full of first aid supplies! Maybe make it two just to be safe…

Prison Break may not be the most realistic show out there, but it’s undoubtedly entertaining! These promotional products are all mentioned in good fun, of course, but they go to show that creativity is invaluable in any situation. Think about your promotions from a fresh angle and you could come up with a brilliant idea that’ll leave your competitors kicking themselves for not thinking of it!

Can you think of any other promotional products that would fit the TV show Prison Break? What else would help Michael Scofield escape?

Image credit to Prison Break Online.


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  1. LK

    I love this show.

    Jeff, these are great promo prods that I’m sure Michael Scofield would consider useful for breaking out of prison! Don’t forget, you could also tie up the Warden with the Jump Rope so you can escape without him coming after you!

    • JPorretto

      Those Jump ropes really come in handy, huh? Should probably buy in bulk. Anyone know where we could do that? =)

  2. Kyle

    Haha this was a great read, Jeff. I remember catching a few episodes of Prison Break when it originally aired, but it never hooked me. Thanks to the awesomeness of Netflix I’ll have to check it out sometime, but that’ll have to wait until I’m done with season two of “24”. =)

    • JPorretto

      Try it! I was skeptical too, and now I’m blowing off all my regulars for it!

  3. Jill Tooley

    I’ve only seen an episode or two of Prison Break, but I like what you’ve done here! Your jump rope explanation cracked me up. Do you think a flashlight would help the main character somehow? I thought of a file first, but all I could find on our site was a pedicure file, which probably wouldn’t help him unless he needed to remove his callouses before jumping that fence. 😉

    • JPorretto

      Hmmmm…. a flashlight couldn’t hurt. He could probably McGuyver something out of it…

  4. amy

    Great post Jeff! I would suggest having a disguise in his backpack for when he gets out. Can’t exactly blend in wearing an orange jumpsuit 😉 Maybe a baseball cap, sunglasses, and a windbreaker?

    P.s +1 for using “tomfoolery”

    • JPorretto

      Excellent suggestions!

      Ahhh… tomfoolery is a favorite of mine. Glad I could finally use it =)

  5. Joseph Giorgi

    Prison Break never really struck me as the kind of show I’d get into. Of course, I should probably watch at least one episode before passing judgement. In any case, I like your product choices here. It may be beneficial to have one of these during a break as well:

    Just paint it black and it’ll pass for the real thing — guaranteed. 🙂

    • JPorretto

      It comes in black too! I definitely thought of that, but wanted to keep it PG. Way to “Go there” Joe…

  6. Amanda

    Nice post Jeff–Sounds like a fun show. Are these products similar to ones he uses to break out of prison? That’d be awesome if they were.

    Does Prison Break still play on tv? What channel is it on? I’d like to check it out sometime.

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