Top Ten Worst Company Names
- Morning Wood Company
- Bunghole Liquors
- Sam & Ella’s Chicken Palace
- Passmore Gas
- Master Bait and Tackle
- Dumass Taco
- Knobs ‘n Knockers
Do you remember that guy in college who insisted on being called “Chugs” even though his name was Gary? He signed birthday cards as Chugs and told teachers that he went by Chugs, but everyone just went on calling him Gary. He started as a Gary, and for that reason, he would always be a Gary.
Naming your company kind of works the same way. Once you have a name, it pretty much sticks. Of course, there are exceptions like Dunkin’ Donuts to Dunkin’ or Starbucks Coffee to Starbucks, but for the most part, the brand name you choose, is the name you get.
You better be careful when choosing a name for your business. If not, you’ll end up as the butt of the joke…just like the ten worst business names of all time!
Location: Newark, DE
Get your mind out of the gutter! Analtech is actually a manufacturer of thin layer chromatography plates. Luckily, any confusion about what these plates are for is thankfully put to rest since Analtech has changed their name to Miles Scientific. Good call.
When you have a bad brand name, you’re setting yourself up for disaster. Everyone is going to notice, and no one is going to be mature about it.
2. Morning Wood Company
Location: Jacksonville, FL
This company’s slogan is, no kidding, “Start every day with wood.” That’s not really a choice, but what is your choice is to shop this store’s collection of handcrafted furniture, doors, cabinets, kitchenware, and accessories.
A phrase may be seemingly innocent at first glance, but have associations with something lewd. “Morning wood” is one of those sayings that doesn’t necessarily have to mean something dirty, but society made it happen.
3. Bunghole Liquors
Location: Peabody, MA
Bunghole Liquors is more than just your average corner store. They have fully embraced their unusual name and even have an online gift shop that includes promotional shirts, hats, shot glasses, and custom koozies, all with the Bunghole Liquors’ brand name.
There’s a play on words here that’s just plain gross, but honestly, “bunghole” is bad enough on its own. You probably shouldn’t use any slur or demeaning word in your company name.
Location: Pembroke, MA
You don’t want to think about the bathroom break that’s to come after eating a large meal. So walking into a restaurant named “Poopsie’s” seems like a bad reminder of what will happen after you’ve digested the pizza that’s served there.
The name is cute if you’re a child saying “Oopsie Poopsie” while toilet training. It’s significantly less adorable as the name of a pizza restaurant.
5. Sam & Ella’s Chicken Palace
Location: Tahlequah, OH
At first glance, this business name appears wholesome, kind of like a little mom ‘n’ pop shop. Then you say it all together… Sam and Ella’s, SamandElla… Salmonella. That’s definitely not a good thing to have on the brain while dining at a chicken restaurant.
This bad company name just goes to show that you have to tread lightly when coming up with your brand’s identity. Look at it at all angles and make sure you say it out loud a couple times.
6. Passmore Gas & Propane
Location: Lake Havasu City, AZ
The joke here seems like it might have been an accident… a crop dust if you will. Regardless, the gas has been passed and now that’s the name of this Arizona-based company. It’s kind of like a big joke that your uncle would share at a family dinner.
Don’t fart around when coming up with a company name. Give it a second and third thought and ask other people for their opinions. Passmore Gas is a huge joke, and while it’s funny, it’s also kind of cringeworthy.
Location: Cle Elum, WA
This tobacco shop has a suggestive name that could easily be taken the wrong way. Good thing they have “Discount Tobacco & Beer” on their signs or people might walk in thinking they offer something else…
Chew-N-Butts doesn’t sound very appealing, no matter which way you look at it. It’s really catering to a very specific target audience, so only a very specific demographic would appreciate the joke.
8. Master Bait & Tackle
Location: Bonita Beach, FL
Master Bait and Tackle is totally in on the joke behind their business name. Their website even calls their store “friendly, often provocative, cutting edge, and always humorous.” If that’s not enough, their web domain is masterbaitonline.com.
Master Bait and Tackle named their company this way on purpose, and while it’s definitely funny, it could be off-putting to those who are easily offended. Plus, do you really want to explain to your kid why everyone’s laughing before the big fishing trip?
9. Dumass Taco
Location: Tomball, TX
When your last name is Dumass, you have one of two options. Be angsty about it and cry in a corner, or embrace the humor and open a taco shop. The owners of Dumass Taco chose the latter and went even further with a donkey logo. So now they’re not just a dumass taco, but a jackass one, too.
This is another situation where the company owners are in on the joke behind their brand name. They’re kind of like an authentic version of Taco Bell – similar sense of humor that appeals toward a younger target audience, specifically those who want an enchilada at 3 A.M.
10. Knobs ‘n’ Knockers
Location: Lahaska, PA
Doesn’t this business name sounds like it could be on a card in Cards Against Humanity? It really is only funny and crude in context. Baby Boomers will probably miss the joke, but millennials and Gen Z’ers will snigger and think “Knobs ‘n’ Knockers’ sounds suggestive.
It’s super weird for this high-end, antique furniture store to have a brand name like Knobs ‘n’ Knockers. It’s not entirely clear whether it was intended to be funny.
Stats About Business Names
- 72% of consumers make purchases based on brand names. (Source)
- 9% of brands don’t include their company name in their logo. (Source)
- 74% of people between the ages of 21 and 35 would pay more for a product with a brand name they like and trust. (Source)
- 72% of the 100 best brands are named with made-up words or acronyms. (Source)
Love them or hate them, these company names give you something to think about if you’re a business owner. Whether they’re printed on high quality promotional products or catch your attention on a billboard while you’re driving down the highway, they’re definitely memorable.
It’s up to you what you name your company. Go ahead and make it a joke if you’re trying to win over a young crowd or project a certain image. If not, avoid using the word “bunghole.”
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