Do you remember that guy in college who insisted on being called “Chugs” even though his name was Gary? He tried signing birthday cards as Chugs and telling teachers that he went by Chugs, but everyone just went on calling him Gary. He started as a Gary, and for that reason, he would always be a Gary.

Naming your business kind of works the same way. Once you have a name, it pretty much sticks. Of course, there are exceptions like Dunkin’ Donuts to Dunkin’ or Starbucks Coffee to Starbucks, but for the most part, the name you choose, is the name you get.

And boy… you better be careful when picking this moniker. If not, you’ll be the butt of the joke and face public ridicule, just like the terrible company names on this list.

The worst business names of all time include:

  • Analtech
  • Morning Wood Company
  • Bunghole Liquors
  • Poopsie’s
  • Sam & Ella’s Chicken Palace
  • Passmore Gas
  • Chew-N-Butts
  • Master Bait and Tackle
  • Dumass Taco
  • Knobs ‘n Knockers

#1: Analtech

Location: Newark, DE

Get your mind out of the gutter! Analtech is actually a manufacturer of thin layer chromatography plates. Luckily, any confusion about what these plates are for is at bay as Analtech has changed their name to Miles Scientific. Good call.

Why This Name Makes the List

When you have a word that’s inherently dirty in your company name, you’re setting yourself up for disaster. Everyone is going to notice, and no one is going to be mature about it.

#2: Morning Wood Company

Location: Jacksonville, FL

This company’s slogan is, no kidding, “Start every day with wood.” Sometimes that’s not really a choice. It is your choice, however, to shop this store’s collection of handcrafted furniture, doors, cabinets, kitchenware, and accessories.

Why This Name Makes the List

A phrase may be seemingly innocent at first glance, but have associations with something lewd. “Morning wood” is one of those phrases that doesn’t have to mean something dirty, but society made it happen.

#3: Bunghole Liquors

Location: Peabody, MA

Bunghole Liquors is more than just your average corner store. They have fully embraced their unusual name with an online merch store that includes novelty t-shirts, hats, shot glasses, and koozies.

Why This Names Makes the List

First, there’s a play on words here that’s just plain gross. Second, “bunghole” is bad enough on its own.

#4: Poopsie’s

Location: Pembroke, MA

You don’t want to think about the bathroom break that’s to come after eating a large meal. So walking into a restaurant named “Poopsie’s” seems like a bad reminder of what will happen after you’ve digested the pizza that’s served there.

Why This Name Makes the List

The name is cute if you’re a child saying “Oopsie Poopsie” while toilet training. It’s significantly less adorable as the name of a pizza restaurant.

#5: Sam & Ella’s Chicken Palace

Location: Tahlequah, OH

At first glance, this name appears wholesome, kind of like a little mom ‘n’ pop shop. Then you say the name all together… Sam and Ella’s, SamandElla… Salmonella. That’s definitely not a good thing to have on the brain while dining at a chicken restaurant.

Why This Name Makes the List

This bad company name just goes to show that you have to tread lightly when naming your business. Look at it at all angles and make sure you say it out loud a couple times.

#6: Passmore Gas

Location: Lake Havasu City, AZ

The joke here seems like it might have been an accident… a crop dust if you will. Regardless, the gas has been passed and now that’s the name of this Arizona-based company.

Why This Name Makes the List

Don’t fart around when coming up with a company name. Give it a second and third thought and get other people’s opinions. This name is a huge joke and damages the company’s cred.

#7: Chew-N-Butts

Location: Cle Elum, WA

This tobacco shop has a suggestive name that could easily be taken the wrong way. Good thing they have “Discount Tobacco & Beer” on their signage or people might walk in thinking they offer something else…

Why This Name Makes the List

Chew-N-Butts doesn’t sound very appealing, no matter which way you look at it.

#8: Master Bait and Tackle

Location: Bonita Beach, FL

Master Bait and Tackle is totally in on the joke in this case. Their website calls their store “friendly, often provocative, cutting edge, and always humorous.” Not to mention, their web domain is masterbaitonline.com.

Why This Name Makes the List

Master Bait and Tackle named their company this way on purpose. It’s on the list because their name, while funny, could be off-putting to some people, especially those who are easily offended.

#9: Dumass Taco

Location: Tomball, TX

When your last name is Dumass, you have one of two options. Be angsty about it, or embrace the humor and open a taco shop. The owners of Dumass Taco chose the latter, and went even further with a donkey logo. So now they’re not just a dumass taco, but a jackass one, too.

Why This Name Makes the List

Here’s another situation where the company owners are in on the joke. The limitation with the name, though, is that Dumass Taco will have a hard time getting taken seriously as fine dining.

#10: Knobs ‘n Knockers

Location: Lahaska, PA

The name of the store sounds like it could be on the white card in a game of Cards Against Humanity. It really is only funny and crude to a certain generation. Baby Boomers will probably miss the joke here, but millennials and Gen Z’ers are the next consumers and the ones who will think “Knobs ‘n Knockers’ sounds suggestive.

Why This Name Makes the List

It’s a clever name, but it’s super weird when paired with this super serious furniture store. One look at their website, and it’s not really clear whether they get the humor behind their name or not. 

Final Thoughts

Love them or hate them, these names give you something to think about if you’re a business owner. Your brand voice can be super comical and your store name can reflect that. Or you can be part of a joke you’re not in on and not get taken seriously as a result.

Here are some interesting stats about company names to consider:

  • 72% of consumers make purchases based on brand names. (Source)
  • 9% of brands don’t include their company name in their logo. (Source)
  • 74% of people between the ages of 21 and 35 would pay more for a product with a brand name they like and trust. (Source)
  • 72% of the 100 best brands are named with made-up words or acronyms. (Source)

Really, it’s up to you what you want to name your company. Just remember this name will be on signs, promotional products, billboards, Google Ads, and more. It communicates a lot and is worth thinking about!