Why You Keep Failing (and the Only Way to Succeed)
We’re well into the new year. How are those New Year’s resolutions coming along? Have you achieved all your goals?
Yeah, me neither.
More than 80% of New Year’s resolution makers are New Year’s resolution breakers with a third of people having ditched those wide-eyed promises by February 1st. This failure rate is so reliable that gyms make a killing from it every year.
So what do those 20% have that we don’t? They’re excellent goal writers. Too many people fail to achieve their goals year-round, not because they don’t have the resources or drive but because they just don’t know how to break down the process.
Basically, goals that fail are STUPID.
You write STUPID goals. That is to say, you decide to pursue goals that are…
Silly: The goal is silly and unimportant. The slightest obstacle is enough to deter you from following your plan, because there’s no strong desire to get to the endpoint.
I’ll see what this automobile business is all about right after I finish this nap.
Timetable-Free: Your goal does not have any kind of urgency to it, so you’ll get there whenever you get there. Setbacks don’t motivate you to work harder, because there’s no deadline to meet.
Unrealistic: Expecting to post a profit in the first twelve months with your new start-up business? Want to lose 40 pounds in a month without cutting off a limb? Unrealistic expectations suck motivation out of a person, because you’ll end up associating failing at something impossible with being an overall failure.
Passive: Passive goals include: “Stop smoking,” or “Quit staying up late.” Those goals require you to stop doing something, to be passive when temptation beckons. And if it were that easy, you’d just stop doing the thing you want to stop doing and break the bad habit. But there’s more to it than that.
Those dopes are wasting their time waiting for a computer when I found information in this here paper thingie.
Ill-Researched: Ill-researched goals have the insidious habit of making you feel like you’re doing the right thing, but you may actually be backtracking. You get your information from what you remember from an article you read in college or Jenny McCarthy. You base your plans on sensationalized newspaper headlines that poorly summarize and draw dramatic conclusions from the actual study being reported.
Dependent: That is to say that STUPID goals are dependent on anything other than your own self-control and motivation. While it’s impossible to completely isolate your progress from all factors (e.g., personal illness, unexpected unemployment, dingo eating your baby), the more you depend on anyone or anything else for success, the less your actions reflect your ability to meet your goal on your own. This is also a great way to throw the blame on outside factors for your lack of success. Bravo.
You need to write SMART goals. SMART goals are…
Specific: You can’t just skip to the end and say you want to “get healthy.” That’s a result. Goals must be the steps involved in reaching that goal, like losing weight and adding healthy food to your diet. The steps must be guided by specific actions, which can be measured.
We’ll square this and then subtract the square of half the width and then find the square root of that answer – easy peasy!
Measurable: Even some of the steps on the way to that goal may be vague, such as “drink more water” or “eat healthy.” How do you measure that? You need to drink six glasses of water or four servings of fruits and vegetables each day. Make success based on something you can count, even if it’s just measuring whether or not you completed a task, rather than a vague concept such as “losing weight.” Make your goals something that’s an action, not resistance to temptation; research shows that you break bad habits not by just saying “no,” but by replacing them with good ones.
Attainable: Take the Goldilocks approach when goal-writing: not to easy and not too difficult. Goals should be realistic (and you’ll know what realistic is when you do your research), but they shouldn’t be so easy that you’re already capable of and regularly do them; that’s an attained goal. You want to find something just right, something you can get but just haven’t yet; in other words, you’re looking for attainable goals.
Relevant: Make sure the steps you’re using to reach your goal are relevant to your overall life goals and for the specific goal you’ve set. Want to lose weight through exercise? Make sure the workout plan you’re following isn’t designed to build muscle and gain inches in places you’d rather be lean.
If I can keep this ridiculous hat on my head for one more minute, I’ll set a world record for sustained humiliation.
Time-Bound: Give yourself a time frame in order to promote the importance of following the plan each day. If you give yourself five years to save $500, the importance of budgeting and living within your means loses its sense of urgency. Events make for good deadlines: losing weight before a friend’s wedding or finding a new home before winter comes increase motivation.
You can write SMART goals all day long, and it still won’t get anything accomplished unless you get that one last piece to the puzzle…
You have to want it.
STOP RIGHT THERE.
My psychic abilities tell me that you immediately said, “But I DO want to lose ten pounds/be more productive/marry Justin Bieber!”
Great. But you don’t want it enough.
More specifically, you want other things more than you want to achieve your goal. You want to eat your daily serving of chocolate oranges more than you want to slim down. You prefer surfing Pinterest to cleaning your bathroom. Otherwise, you’d break out the sponge.
You may say you want to save more money, but you want to watch cable MORE. If you wanted to save money more than you wanted to watch cable, you’d cancel your cable subscription. Sure, there may be great shows on. Sure, you can’t afford to go on vacations, so you need some kind of entertainment, right?
But you don’t want it enough. So you don’t reach your goals.
First thing in the morning on January 1st (or the 2nd, depending on your hangover) gives you zero indication of how likely you are to achieve your New Year’s resolution. The critical time is when you’re deciding to hit your snooze button instead of getting up to exercise in the morning. Every day. For six weeks.
A successful goal is not a plan or decision. Its success or failure is no more or less the result of daily choices.
There can even be a minute to minute choices depending on the bad habit you want to kick or the good habit you want to create. Either way, an action is exponentially more valuable than a thought, a plan, or a wish.
So really, the only way to achieve your goal is that you have to want it enough to do something about it.
Image credit to Clipart.com.